Anger management & challenges

I have decided to involve myself in a challenge, mainly because this one just popped up to be honest and fitted a bill that is a topic close to my heart.

This weeks prompt is

DUNGEON PROMPTS – SEASON 2, WEEK 4: ANGER MANAGEMENT

Anger & chronic pain
Anger & chronic pain

Before I suffered from chronic pain, I ‘thought’ I had control of my body.  You take the sensations and control level for granted.  I am not sure if that makes sense?

I used to call myself passionate, firey redhead, but in all honesty I did not have the ability when pushed to extremes to control my anger, usually born out of extreme frustration, not being to handle a situation, being pushed in to a corner emotionally.

I used to think extreme anger came from the inability to express oneself, but it’s not, is it? There are all kinds of reasons why someone can experience extreme anger.

Afterwards I used to feel sick, ashamed, physically drained and emotionally.

Things are different now, right at the moment I can’t think of any advantages to having chronic pain except one.  It seems almost perverse to have found a benefit, semi forced upon me and that is…

I simply cannot let myself be affected by anger.  Now that I have chronic pain whenever I have been put in to a provocative situation and let it get a hold of me it causes me to be extremely ill.  Stress effects my pain messengers hideously.  I will literally feel my muscles cramp up, sensations of scorching fingers run up my spine, like my back is on fire, then a twisting and tornicating of myscles running around my chest and spasms.

The fear then sets in, what is the knock back going to be from this?  How is my body going to feel tomorrow?  Will I be in bed and unable to participate downstairs with my children. Will I lie in bed hearing them downstairs eating and not be there with them.  It is a hideous situation pain and how it isolates you from others.

I don’t really know how I do it.  But now, not all the time, I am not superhuman after all, but anger does not effect me in the same way it used to.  I guess I see it like an intruder, burglar trying to take away  my mobility and I wont let that happen.

I slam the door right back in his face and sit quietly hoping he can’t get through.

Sometimes I think he’s gone and I can relax, a smile forms upon my face, the situation is over and I am home free!

Here is a link to the Dungeon Prompts of which I have partaken now, you will see others posts too 🙂

http://theseekersdungeon.com/category/dungeon-prompts/

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10 thoughts on “Anger management & challenges

  1. Sounds horrible. I’m glad that you are able to slam the door in angers face, but sad that this is the method that is necessary.

  2. Your comment about taking the sensations and control level for granted prior to your chronic pain shouted out to me. For me, although I am usually healthy, I tend to allow my hyper-awareness of my body’s processes to induce stomachaches when there is no reason to.

  3. Our bodies are a complicated and wondrous thing also I am learning, as is the mind, the mind’s ability to control our physical awareness of ourselves. My son has been suffering stomach aches recently, I think it’s all anxiety related, it’s like dominoes one little piece gets knocked over and it effects the next piece. There are many arts and tools to help one to learn to try and overcome/accept/manipulate this in some way, it’s still a huge learning curve for me, however, in my next post which I am about to post, there are some useful tools I found that I will definately try to implement.

    I hope it helps you too, and thank you for reading 🙂

  4. So true how anger/stress impacts on our bodies…not everyone is the same…some just explode and feel better after. Pain usually depresses me when it is very acute for long periods of time and then I realize I am not slowing down…just slow down and look around and observe. Your blog really talks to me and I am sure other people about things we don’t normally voice. Great post:) xx

  5. Yes, I’ve been through that pain depression many times, and fear, what will my life be like etc. Anger seems to radiate down my spine every time it appears, or stress, i can feel it like horrible little fingers crawling down, so I try to put my mind somewhere else to get rid of it, or to stop it in the first place, it isn’t easy, i dont always manage it and when I don’t it is a reminder to try harder next time. I used to explode and do very unsavioury things like throw loo rolls in a hissy fit (at least they don’t damage anything hehe), but I like to think I am past that now…crosses fingers

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