Secrets & lies ~ Dungeon Prompt Week 11

DUNGEON PROMPTS – SEASON 2, WEEK 11: SECRETS

Suggested Prompts: *Are you a secret keeper?  Do you have a lot hidden away that you share with no one or do you have certain friends that you tell everything to?  Do you have the confidence of others knowing that your ears lead to a closed vault or are you known for your secret broadcasting system?  Are you offended when you suspect others are keeping secrets from you, or do you not want to have anything to do with things that are kept hidden?  What do secrets mean to you? page divider

So this week we are focusing on secrets, do I have any?

I am in my 40’s what do you think?  Even a mere 7yr old can hold lots of secrets.  The thing is, what do those secrets mean to the person holding them and to the person or people they are not meant to be told to?

Do I think secrets are bad?

I don’t think anyone can give a blanket judgement on secrets being either good or bad, they can be both.  It is about the intention and possible effect upon whoever it is being kept from, or why in the first place it is being kept. I wanted to go through some quotes which are so varied and have put comments below:

two friends
If I told you my secrets, you’d never look at me the same way again.

“And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter— they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long.” ― Sylvia PlathThe Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

This is very true.  Who of you have old secrets, ones that perhaps were important at the time, meant something and like hoarding rubbish one tucks them away somewhere out of sight, thinking it is important.  Then one day you have to move house or make some space for new things, you walk in the room and see all the rubbish collected from long ago and wonder what on earth you were doing?  This is the same with some secrets.  Sometimes it is good to let go, to realize stress held within yourself on to things that really now in the light of day or with the passage of time do not matter anymore.

girl alone in forest
“We do not need magic to transform our world. We carry all of the power we need inside ourselves already.”
― J.K. Rowling

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.” ― Roald Dahl

Aaaahhh magic and secrets.  Who tells their children about the tooth fairy, elves and so forth? What kind of secrets and possible untruths are these?  I say possible as I cannot assume myself so above everyone else to know for certain these things don’t exist I just go on the probable.  But these kind of untruths, are they harmful?  I don’t think so, they help a child’s imagination, a way to go in to their mind, find places they can create of wondrous fantasy, what on earth could be wrong with that?  When they find out it is possibly not true, well that is of course a life’s lesson, there will no doubt be far worse for them to deal with later in life, it is growth.

padlock on door
“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

“Lies and secrets, Tessa, they are like a cancer in the soul. They eat away what is good and leave only destruction behind.” ― Cassandra ClareClockwork Prince

These are different kinds of secrets, destructive ones, why?  Because normally, they are the kind of secret that will hurt someone else, one that possibly the holder feels immense guilt about, wavers in “shall I tell them or not, how will that impact on me, on so and so, how will my life change, how will their life change?  These kind of the soul destructing kind of secrets.  Can I say whether good or bad to have?  The thing is, you need to look at what events took place to cause them, what actions?  That is where the focus should be, not so much in the actual keeping or not keeping of them.  Stop the root cause and if some of this is born by learning morality and how to conduct oneself in life then there are lessons to be learned surely?

milk bottle drawing
“I lie to myself all the time. But I never believe me.”
― S.E. Hinton, The Outsiders

“With a secret like that, at some point the secret itself becomes irrelevant. The fact that you kept it does not.” ― Sara GruenWater for Elephants

This is about dishonesty.  The action caused by the person keeping the secret.  Secrets are dangerous in many ways, it is working out the subtle balances between the worth of having one, being responsible about being ‘a keeper’ and what to do with it.  When keeping a secret is at the time kept because of possible fall out, there is normally always somewhere down the line indeed a fallout be it small or large,  unless forgiveness is given.

finger to mouth ssshh
“So you’re always honest,” I said.
“Aren’t you?”
“No,” I told him. “I’m not.”
“Well, that’s good to know, I guess.”
“I’m not saying I’m a liar,” I told him. He raised his eyebrows. “That’s not how I meant it, anyways.”
“How’d you mean it, then?”
“I just…I don’t always say what I feel.”
“Why not?”
“Because the truth sometimes hurts,” I said.
“Yeah,” he said. “So do lies, though.”
― Sarah Dessen, Just Listen

“A secret’s worth depends on the people from whom it must be kept.” ― Carlos Ruiz ZafónThe Shadow of the Wind

Exactly, there is a price upon each secret.  To one person it means nothing, to another it means a great deal.  Don’t make something a secret unless magical or for good unless it needs to be such a thing.  That is my humble opinion.

whispering in someones ear
“A truth that’s told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.”
― William Blake, Auguries of Innocence

“Sometimes, the biggest secrets you can only tell a stranger.” ― Michelle HodkinThe Evolution of Mara Dyer

Why is this?  Because to tell a stranger we can walk away from them, unlike family or friends where we have to live with the judgement.  The secret can remain with you and not affect your social or family circle.  Also you don’t possibly care so much about the judgement from the stranger, whereas you would from those closer.

whispering children
“Just because something isn’t a lie does not mean that it isn’t deceptive. A liar knows that he is a liar, but one who speaks mere portions of truth in order to deceive is a craftsman of destruction.”
― Criss Jami

“When I like people immensely I never tell their names to anyone. It is like surrendering a part of them. I have grown to love secrecy.” ― Oscar WildeThe Picture of Dorian Gray

I think this is about respecting peoples person right to anonymity and for them to be the ones to indulge, should they wish, something about themselves that they might consider special or secret.  This is something very important to remember in friendship.  Just because you have a close circle, it doesn’t mean that if one person tells you something it is alright to share that with all the others.  It is the tellers right to share that with whom so they wish, the same if you are the teller, remember the responsibility you are imposing on the person who keeps that personal trinket of information.

pencil lips
“It’s discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.”
― Noël Coward, Blithe Spirit

“All families have their secrets, most people would never know them, but they know there are spaces, gaps where the answers should be, where someone should have sat, where someone used to be. A name that is never uttered, or uttered just once and never again. We all have our secrets.” ― Cecelia AhernThe Book of Tomorrow

I don’t know about all families, but I know my family has had many scandalous, weird or interesting secrets.  For instance the one about my Grandfather and his unscrupulous antics with women and their jewels.  This was not talked about in the family for many years because of shame and how it would make the ‘family’ look.  However, it happened, he was made an example of by the Judge who sent him to prison, it was a fairly high profile case.  I do wonder whether it was worth causing such stress to keep it so well wrapped or whether it would have been more healthy to have delicately allowed it to sometimes seep from the dark confines of the closet it was kept to infiltrate family conversations upon a time.

Retro eclectic odds n sods-002 retro button Living in East Sheen (2)

relaxing-room-wallpaper-002

What is your take on this?  I love quotes, so in this instance rather than write about myself, I wanted to use what was important enough for others to say as a way of giving example to different types of secrets and lies.

Do you have many secrets?

What kind of secrets are they?

Do you have a quote for your most pressing secret and how it makes you feel holding on to it?

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8 thoughts on “Secrets & lies ~ Dungeon Prompt Week 11

  1. I think you examined that from every possible angle! So I guess there’s a time and place for everything. Personally I don’t keep any of my personal issues secret, as it’s easier that way, but I don’t have any problem keeping other people’s issues secret as it is also easier that way!

      1. It is the perfect quote for your post. For me, it is reminiscent of the feeling when you are first falling in love. That feeling of I dare not say, or I might lose it. As a result, it has a bit of sorrow to it, As I guess, every secret does. Knowing about Wilde’s life makes it ever more tragic. Really wonderful post!!!

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