Pain Management Programme Day 4
My fourth day has been and gone at the Pain Management Programme.
You can catch upon my PMP Days here:- Pain Management Programme
I went in today in a more positive frame of mind after my talks yesterday.
I knew today what was to be expected to a degree and confident in the fact I could do what I felt appropriate.
We started off the day with an inclusive talk about Values in our life, goals and how we would get to those points. Ie small building blocks to get to achievable goals, using the S.M.A.R.T.E.R policy which means Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relative, Time, Evaluate and Review.
In our handbooks that we were given at the start of the course we were asked to spend time thinking about this and to jot down our thoughts, of which we would go through in our assessment at the end of the day.
After the talk we did the set of stretching exercises again. I did some of them standing, then the ones that were impossible to do standing I ‘had’ to sit. I did find it easier this way, though there are a couple which are definitely on my ‘warning’ radar that I don’t feel I ‘should’ be doing, as I still feel my spine/hips/pelvis aren’t aligned as they should be and as such doing exercises before they are better makes me think I would only be setting off unnecessary triggers.
After lunch we did ‘circuit’ training. Not the same kind of circuit training as you would see in a gym. It was a set of exercises of which we would get a few sets over the weeks, of essentially what is meant to be whole body strengthening movements. I could do some but not all, a couple of them I felt I would really pay for later, some however quite easy. The one’s I found easy others might not of and it goes to show we all have our different issues.
We also discussed Mindfulness again.
I can’t go in to describing what this means, there are many sites on describing mindfulness and I have also written some posts on this earlier which you can find in my Mindfulness section. However the book you see on the right I have just about finished and it is fantastic. I have also bought the Living Well With Pain & Illness as this is written by someone ‘actually’ suffering with chronic pain. I don’t think until you experience it, can you ever really ‘get it’ and understand what it is like to live with it.
If you are a sufferer I would highly recommend these two books and they are recommended by the Programme I am attending too.
We then had our individual assessments, I was with two physios for this. I took in my book, of which we would go through my goals etc and also answer any questions I had.
Of course I had questions.
I am trying ‘still’ to get my head around the fact that there is no damage caused when we feel extreme pain through our actions, within our pain of enduring chronic pain. It is said that there is no damage at all, I still find it hard to believe that there are not some cases where this does not happen. I will have to reckon this in my own head. They did however discuss breaking points ie with a ruler, you can bend and bend it, it will go back, but leave slight stress marks, eventually it does snap. I mention this as I have had 3 set backs, where I ended up in bed again immobile for a period of weeks and had to learn to walk again.
I also asked the question of the ideal end result of the course, does one ever ‘get rid’ of chronic pain. I was told that because of how the human mind works, that we hold too many memories that get hidden away, which trigger this and that and because of this, it is impossible to ‘get rid ‘ of it entirely that we could improve but not essentially 100% get rid of, but heck miracles happen right?
So though I am now at the end of day four I would like to continue on just a little about how I felt over the weekend etc.
On Friday and the days leading up to it I felt extreme exhaustion to the point of feeling sick. It is hard work going in, travelling in the car for me, exercises of all kinds on top of what I would normally do, having to either stand all day or lie down to listen to a teacher. Lying down might sound nice, but it isn’t when you are trying to look up to a board that is being written on and see the teacher, as a consequence I have got cramps going up my neck causing headaches and pain as a consequence.
Our homework over the weekend is to flesh out our goals etc, but also to fill in an activity diary and thoughts diary. I was asked to think about how I felt when I had the panic attack on Wednesday and to write down my thoughts.
Also to write about other thoughts.
The thoughts could be negative or positive, but it was important to write them down. I felt quite stressed when I got home, mainly because I have left much alone that I would normally tend to, because of going on the course. As a result of this the place is a state and I mean a proper state, filthy, cannot find a thing sort of state. It’s hard to walk in to this exhausted, in pain, extra pain and see it. I felt depressed, deflated and just like giving up. Then I start to feel resentful, to whom I am not sure. Then angry.
I went to bed.
Got up and started to do stuff around the house.
The pain just exacerbated to a degree that I have not felt for quite some time. It has just been more than my body can comprehend, the activity level from the course than normal life. I am not meaning to sound negative, though I am sure it sounds this way, but just saying it as it is for me individually.
I woke up on Saturday knowing that i was seeing Jane for Zero Balancing. My walking was incredibly slow and very uncomfortable, not enjoyeable at all and this is something that I found hard, as I love my walking. I saw her, my hips apparently were completely out of sink, my legs good, but neck and torso just jammed up. She did her work. She looked through my exercise book, had her own opiniosn and suggested that she would like to chat with the physios on the course. I think this a good idea, just because the more who collaborate and perhaps have different experiences and opinions the better, not that it necessarily changes things but I think learning ‘other’ things is good.
I left Jane feeling so so much better physically which of course helps me feel better mentally.
I had a fairly active day Saturday, woke up Sunday with the excessive pain still gone. I will admit I am nervous about next week, I hate the extra pain, I hope this is something I can negate in some way, moderate or whatever. I do understand staying mobile, working at the things we find difficult physically it is all learning in progress at the moment for me.
That is all for today, Justine xx
© Justine Nagaur