Pain Management Programme Day 6

Pain Management Programme Day 6

My sixth day has been and gone at the Pain Management Programme.

You can catch upon my PMP Days here:- Pain Management Programme

Pain Management Programme Clinic
Pain Management Programme Clinic

I was writing my day up when I got home, and even though very tired I was getting most of it down, something I have not done the last two days, leaving the writing to the next morning is definitely not a good idea as trying to dredge up all the information quite hard.

Today quite a few were on flare up’s, it is always hard to see someone like this and your heart really goes out to them.  On this day too as it happens the idea was to discuss a ‘Flare Up’ programme, either for different types of severity of flare ups, for home, for work etc.

As you will see below, we started off discussing ‘Common thinking traps’ when we are having a flare up.  Yesterday we discussed how to communicate to to others about our Chronic Pain and also about our Flare Up’s so that they would firstly understand better and also realize the need for flexibility.

Though chronic pain is very real physically, the mind has such a huge influence over ‘how’ we thinking, interpret and react to things.  Learning to manage chronic pain is like learning a new language, it is a whole different way of thinking.

Pain Management Programme Day 6
Pain Management Programme Day 6

We then went back to our hot cross bun, the ever lasting circle of how the mind affects our physical symptoms, how those affect our mind, our mood, our behaviour, our reactions and as you see from the diagram below it can go every which way and generally utilises every way possible.

Pain Management Programme Day 6
Pain Management Programme Day 6

At this point we started to discuss our own individual plans.  So we went over what happens to each of us during a flare up.  For me, I have different kinds, the type that doesn’t stop one’s whole day activities but I have to slow right down. The worst flare ups I have had have set me in bed for weeks on end, thankfully I have only had this 3 times, but the memory does NOT go which is part of the problem and with this the fear of it coming back again.  This can hinder one terribly as it effects one’s reactions and brains’ threat level all the time.  However on these flare ups, the pain is so awful I cannot move in bed let alone get out, I want to be left alone apart from the basics of human survival which doesn’t include washing!

The next level of flare up is split in to two, the one that will put me in bed, but perhaps for a day or two on and off, cooking is off the agenda, household stuff is off the agenda.  I then have to be very mindful of what i do not to exacerbate it.

Now the problem with chronic pain is often we cannot tell when it is going to happen.  There are times when there is a uh oh moment I have over done it, but this is not always the case.

We were told to have an agenda, ie a plan, a box with food in, drinks in and whatever else that would make those flare up’s more manageable.  This I found a ‘weird’ concept, but obviously there is a reason behind it, which I do get, but the thought of stashing food and drink in my bedroom doesn’t sit well at the moment, apart from chocolate of course!

We then talked about work and this brought up a few contentious issues on how work understands peoples conditions.  One girl has been told that if she is sick once more within 5 months she will be disciplined.  This disciplinary procedure is for sickness as in having a cold, a tummy bug. This girl does not have this, she has a chronic illness, she has fybro, long term illness, the same rules should not apply and I was quite appalled.  The organisation she works in is large, has a good reputation and in my mind should have a better strategy. The nurse at work knows her situation so it is not as if they are in the dark.

There should be a change in procedure and or organisations to support people in helping them manage ‘others’ at work when they come across this situation.

On another instance there is a girl at college who has been disciplined now because she has attended this course.  Again this is wrong.  We didn’t get the answers necessarily that we wanted, but I am writing to Richmond Aid to see if they have any advice for the others.

Pain Management Programme Day 6
Pain Management Programme Day 6

We finished the day off with a frank discussion with one of the physios who is temporarily here.  I think we were at this point quite disenchanted, maybe it was the energy levels, the pain factors being high today, maybe it is a turning point, you go through that bad bit before it all becomes clear and easier to comprehend.

The chat helped to uplift us as a whole and we continued with our deep muscle relaxation, which I managed better this time.  We then went on to ‘Circuit Training’ which I was dreading after last week as this gave me a flare up.  This time I left out certain things or did it in a very alternative way and ‘touch wood’ so far I seem to be alright, which in itself is positive.

Feeling extremely tired this morning, totally zapped of energy but still positive about seeing what today brings, what I can learn and bring to the table to help me with my pain.

It will help that I baked some gluten/wheat free & low FODMAP chocolate brownies for the group, let’s hope that perks things up a bit hehe.

That is all for today, Justine xx

© Justine Nagaur



Pain Management Programme Day 5

Pain Management Programme Day 5

My fifth day has been and gone at the Pain Management Programme.

You can catch upon my PMP Days here:- Pain Management Programme

Pain Management Programme Clinic
Pain Management Programme Clinic

So we are now on to day 5 and I was feeling relatively relaxed compared to how I felt over the weekend.  The pain levels have been up since before the programme started, however slightly calmer since having seen Jane on Saturday when I had my Zero Balancing.

She has lent to me a cushion like a large sausage with the idea I straddle this whilst in class, I just want to remain upright, rather than having to only do this by standing which is exhausting for so long. Lying down and looking to the side is cricking and cramping my neck, otherwise it means just lying on the floor and looking up at flourescent lights for hours which believe you me isn’t pleasant.

Apart from doing Deep Muscle Relaxation, which this time I was able to confidently tailor to how I thought I would manage it best we talked about ‘Relationships’ & our activity and thought processes over the weekend and how the latter tied in with our goals.

We mainly concentrate on the whole aspect of how others react and behave towards us and in turn us trying to think how our situation impacts on others.  Ie the not understanding and living situations with loved ones.  We talked first of all about our reactions to others behaviour, conversations, reactions towards us, how this impacted on how we then behave back and how in fact sometimes this can just also cause a non productive spiral.

For me, I know that my pain situation has affected my children greatly and this makes me incredibly sad.  There is a book that was recommended to read to children which I have included below and will be buying.  My youngest has taken on the ‘I hurt’ syndrome and I am sure it is something to do with what goes on with myself and I feel that though I have tried to explain my pain, that being on this course has now given me a better way to explain it.

We talked also about trying to think about friendships that are important to us that we might have ‘lost’ and feel a desire to reclaim.  I certainly have lost quite a few friends through my pain, whether they have gone forever I am not sure but certainly feels like it and can make one feel quite depressed and resentful that ‘those’ one considered close don’t want to stick around.  Maybe it is just to hard.  But there are a couple of people that I can think of ‘hoping’ to reclaim friendship back with.

They suggested making a time to get together, to talk about why one was asking to meet up and when meeting up to concisely talk about how pain affects our daily lives.  To explain the flare ups, that just because one can do something one day it doesn’t mean one can do it the next.  That there are red, amber and green days. The red days are “sorry I cannot make it out today, I am having a red day, a flare up, but I will re-arrange”, that an amber day is “I can come out today but perhaps not as long as we intended as I am struggling a little but would still love to spend some time with you”, that a green day is “we are good to go as planned”.  That talking about how there is not ‘cure’ for chronic pain, it is about managing it and living with it, that we are all trying to do and it’s a constant process and that in order to have friendships with ease, it’s important for other parties to understand how this affects us and that there has to be flexibility in arrangements.

Pain Management Programme Day 5
Pain Management Programme Day 5

That is all for today, Justine xx

© Justine Nagaur


Pain Management Programme Day 4

Pain Management Programme Day 4

My fourth day has been and gone at the Pain Management Programme.

You can catch upon my PMP Days here:- Pain Management Programme

Pain Management Programme Clinic
Pain Management Programme Clinic

I went in today in a more positive frame of mind after my talks yesterday.

I knew today what was to be expected to a degree and confident in the fact I could do what I felt appropriate.

We started off the day with an inclusive talk about Values in our life, goals and how we would get to those points.  Ie small building blocks to get to achievable goals, using the S.M.A.R.T.E.R policy which means Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relative, Time, Evaluate and Review.

In our handbooks that we were given at the start of the course we were asked to spend time thinking about this and to jot down our thoughts, of which we would go through in our assessment at the end of the day.

After the talk we did the set of stretching exercises again.  I did some of them standing, then the ones that were impossible to do standing I ‘had’ to sit.  I did find it easier this way, though there are a couple which are definitely on my ‘warning’ radar that I don’t feel I ‘should’ be doing, as I still feel my spine/hips/pelvis aren’t aligned as they should be and as such doing exercises before they are better makes me think I would only be setting off unnecessary triggers.

After lunch we did ‘circuit’ training.  Not the same kind of circuit training as you would see in a gym.  It was a set of exercises of which we would get a few sets over the weeks, of essentially what is meant to be whole body strengthening movements.  I could do some but not all, a couple of them I felt I would really pay for later, some however quite easy.  The one’s I found easy others might not of and it goes to show we all have our different issues.

We also discussed Mindfulness again.

I can’t go in to describing what this means, there are many sites on describing mindfulness and I have also written some posts on this earlier which you can find in my Mindfulness section.  However the book you see on the right I have just about finished and it is fantastic.  I have also bought the Living Well With Pain & Illness as this is written by someone ‘actually’ suffering with chronic pain.  I don’t think until you experience it, can you ever really ‘get it’ and understand what it is like to live with it.

If you are a sufferer I would highly recommend these two books and they are recommended by the Programme I am attending too.

We then had our individual assessments, I was with two physios for this.  I took in my book, of which we would go through my goals etc and also answer any questions I had.

Of course I had questions.

I am trying ‘still’ to get my head around the fact that there is no damage caused when we feel extreme pain through our actions, within our pain of enduring chronic pain.  It is said that there is no damage at all, I still find it hard to believe that there are not some cases where this does not happen. I will have to reckon this in my own head.  They did however discuss breaking points ie with a ruler, you can bend and bend it, it will go back, but leave slight stress marks, eventually it does snap.  I mention this as I have had 3 set backs, where I ended up in bed again immobile for a period of weeks and had to learn to walk again.

I also asked the question of the ideal end result of the course, does one ever ‘get rid’ of chronic pain.  I was told that because of how the human mind works, that we hold too many memories that get hidden away, which trigger this and that and because of this, it is impossible to ‘get rid ‘ of it entirely that we could improve but not essentially 100% get rid of, but heck miracles happen right?

So though I am now at the end of day four I would like to continue on just a little about how I felt over the weekend etc.

On Friday and the days leading up to it I felt extreme exhaustion to the point of feeling sick.  It is hard work going in, travelling in the car for me, exercises of all kinds on top of what I would normally do, having to either stand all day or lie down to listen to a teacher.  Lying down might sound nice, but it isn’t when you are trying to look up to a board that is being written on and see the teacher, as a consequence I have got cramps going up my neck causing headaches and pain as a consequence.

Our homework over the weekend is to flesh out our goals etc, but also to fill in an activity diary and thoughts diary.  I was asked to think about how I felt when I had the panic attack on Wednesday and to write down my thoughts.

Also to write about other thoughts.

The thoughts could be negative or positive, but it was important to write them down.  I felt quite stressed when I got home, mainly because I have left much alone that I would normally tend to, because of going on the course.  As a result of this the place is a state and I mean a proper state, filthy, cannot find a thing sort of state.  It’s hard to walk in to this exhausted, in pain, extra pain and see it.  I felt depressed, deflated and just like giving up.  Then I start to feel resentful, to whom I am not sure.  Then angry.

I went to bed.

Got up and started to do stuff around the house.

The pain just exacerbated to a degree that I have not felt for quite some time.  It has just been more than my body can comprehend, the activity level from the course than normal life.  I am not meaning to sound negative, though I am sure it sounds this way, but just saying it as it is for me individually.

I woke up on Saturday knowing that i was seeing Jane for Zero Balancing.  My walking was incredibly slow and very uncomfortable, not enjoyeable at all and this is something that I found hard, as I love my walking.  I saw her, my hips apparently were completely out of sink, my legs good, but neck and torso just jammed up.  She did her work.  She looked through my exercise book, had her own opiniosn and suggested that she would like to chat with the physios on the course.  I think this a good idea, just because the more who collaborate and perhaps have different experiences and opinions the better, not that it necessarily changes things but I think learning ‘other’ things is good.

I left Jane feeling so so much better physically which of course helps me feel better mentally.

I had a fairly active day Saturday, woke up Sunday with the excessive pain still gone.  I will admit I am nervous about next week, I hate the extra pain, I hope this is something I can negate in some way, moderate or whatever.  I do understand staying mobile, working at the things we find difficult physically it is all learning in progress at the moment for me.

That is all for today, Justine xx

© Justine Nagaur


Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Myofascial Pain Syndrome: What Do They Have In Common?

An interesting article on acupuncture and the similarities or not between chronic pain illnesses

Bipolar For Life

Hello dear readers.  I am writing this from a Comfort Inn in Grand Rapids, Michigan.  I am in bed.  I have been in bed for 26 hours, except for time out in the bathtub and walking Noga the Angel Dog, which I don’t do very often because she’s trained to go on potty pads.  That’s a blessing because these days I just don’t get far from a bed or chair.  Sigh.

I seem to have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  Not so long ago it was called CFIDS, Chronic Fatigue and Immune Dysfunction Syndrome.  I don’t know why they (“they” meaning the committee of chimpanzees that decides our fate by means of the ICD, or International Classification of Disease, which is constantly changing according to progress in medical science and the caprice of its members) changed it, because it seems to exactly describe the phenomena we miserable sufferers experience: constant overwhelming fatigue…

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Pain Management Programme Day 3

Pain Management Programme Day 3

My third day has been and gone at the Pain Management Programme.

You can catch upon my PMP Days here:- Pain Management Programme

Pain Management Programme Clinic
Pain Management Programme Clinic

Today was an easier day.

However I started off in a bit of a tizzy before I had had the chance to go in to speak to them and was having neck spasms the night before from lying on my back and cricking my neck trying to see the teacher and believe you me, neck cramps or spasms is really painful.

I went in with some trepidation and asked to speak to the physiotherapist that we had spent the afternoon with, she was very  understanding and nice.  I explained that I had already extended my sitting time allotment so to speak to a time where the pain markers were already pinging around my body merely by having a lift in and out, which mean’t nearly an hour and half driving time each day which usually I wouldn’t have.

So then, sitting down for lunch, then the assessment which involved sitting down, then the exercise was just too much for me.  I explained about the need to factor in to my day the sitting times so I could cut it down somewhere else if possible if it was necessary at another time.

I also described to her my inability during what seemed to be a panic attack to calm myself down and this freaked me out somewhat.

She explained that she would give me an outline each day of what to expect and that I needed to feel comfortable to stand up and do the daily exercises if needs be rather than sit.

Re the panic attack, I guess the Mindfulness will help with this and we will learn how to cope with this kind of thing later.

So this I took on board.

It did seem that everyone was a little worse off today in differing ways.

We spent the morning discussing, dissecting and understanding how pain affects each one of us personally, how doing the ‘difficult’ physical things effects us both mentally and physically.  We compared notes, go to see what everyone else goes through.  Then we went over boom and bust again, other peoples perceptions we touched on and how to manage our time to a degree.

It was good.

Then after lunch we had the option to be filmed doing an action that we find difficult, the idea that in two weeks time we would do this again and see a difference, for the positive of course.  We all as a class watched the videos of ourselves too which was a rather painful moment lol.  My two actions were bending whilst standing and then bending whilst sitting.

After this we had a break then the exercise time, which I did a lot of standing up, also my mind frame was different this time, I had a couple of moments when I could feel the stress factor trying to kick in at the times I did sit down, but I bore through it and it was as a whole much more bearable.

Then we had our deep muscle relaxation in which I did promptly fall asleep haha, naughty me, not for all of it but some.

I did spend a lot more time on the floor today, only because I was paying for the day before, but I am hoping by tomorrow all will be relatively calm again x

That is all for today, Justine xx

© Justine Nagaur


Pain Management Programme Day 2

Pain Management Programme Day 2

My second day has been and gone at the Pain Management Programme.

You can catch upon my PMP Days here:- Pain Management Programme

Pain Management Programme Clinic
Pain Management Programme Clinic

I found today very hard.

The first half of the day was ‘class time’ listening to one person talking.  It is a total change of scenery, out of one’s comfort zone, exercising one’s brain listening to someone talk for quite some time on a subject matter that involves a fair bit of concentration.  By the time the morning was over my brain felt like it might quite like to explode.

How pain makes us feel
How pain makes us feel

We covered ‘about pain’, how it feels to us, both physically and psychologically.

We covered the fact that there is no pain that is either physical or psychological on it’s own, pain is always both.

We then covered the ‘cycle’ of pain.  How the stimulus works from the external senses, to the dorsal horn which acts like a sifting section, sorting what goes where, to that then being transported to the brain, the brain then deciding what is a threat, what is urgent, what is not, to then whizzing back down to the, for example, ankle if twisted and providing pain and a physical protective reaction.

Then we discussed how with acute pain there is a period of time where the pain is there, the healing happens, the pain dissipates as the brain then sends messages that all is well and it goes back to it’s resting point.

However with chronic pain which is pain that has usually been going on over six months, the brain is on constant threat and as such starts to re-jig things about, making it always on high alert, making the nerves super sensitive so they can do their job super well.  Relaying messages back promptly and quick action again and so the cycle goes on.

Though the brain and nervous system is trying to be helpful and protect, this reaction is actually not helpful at all as it causes constant pain reactions.

Then we covered the psychological effects also of historical trauma, how that makes us feel, being in ‘that’ situation again etc.

It was all great and I got it predominantly, hard going but very interesting.

We then had lunch.  Now usually for me I have my allotted sitting time during the day.  Sitting is my main issue which is my pain flare up factor.  I wanted to be social, so I sit for a period of time with the others.  It already begins to set off the pain flares, but I figure after lunch I can lie down on my mat.  So I just put up with it.

After lunch we go in and are told that we are having our physical assessments.  By this stage I am feeling fairly bloated, not from over eating, but IBS flare ups and pain heightened on top.  The assessments involve sitting down and getting up from a chair repeatedly over a period of time whilst they time and count how many times we can do this.  You can imagine my reaction to this.  But I thought, ok get this over and done with, all done and dusted.  Pain levels creeping up, yup I can now go and lie down on my mat as my sitting time is definitely done.

Then we are told after this is introduction to exercise time.  I was not too worried about this until I am told that this involves sitting on a chair for at least 20 minutes.  I am feeling somewhat anxious and stressed by this stage.  I am asked infront of the class whether I can manage this.  I don’t know do I?  Not really, but I know I don’t really ‘want’ to try as I am already in pain, but I say “yes I will give it a go”.

It is hard in a group situation, especially so early on to say ‘no’ and I feel that I should try to do this ‘de-sensitizing’ of my pain flare up actions and see if I can start somehow to get used to it.

So I find a high up stool.  Every exercise has to be held for around 3 breaths in and out.  Some of the exercises involve a lot of torso work, ie bending over and virtually touching toes and chest pressed against knees.

I simply CANNOT do this.

But before we get to this ‘actual’ exercise which was the worst one, I am trying my best, listening to the teacher, saying concentrate on your breath, your sensations, what is going through your head, what you are thinking.

panic_by_benheine-d63ukzpI am thinking this isn’t a good idea to concentrate on what I am thinking.  I am thinking “I cannot do this, I hate this, I am frightened, my chest is going to go in to a spasm”, then my stomach starts to feel like it is on fire, my chest starts to tighten up, I am getting hot and sweating and feel like their is no oxygen in the air, I cannot get my breath properly.  I am panicking, I want to go and run out of the room, I want to hide in the loo and just cry because I feel pathetic that I cannot do this, yet there are people with walking sticks who are managing better than me.  But none of them have sitting issues, I try to justify it to myself.

I find opening my eyes makes it more sane for me, but still I can only do a 1/4 of the exercises but very sadly.  I then find out we are to do this every day at the clinic.

The teacher asked the group how they felt they got on.  Everyone said “good” but I didn’t answer, I wanted to shout “I hate it and don’t want to do it again”.  But I stayed quiet.

After this we had ‘relaxation’ time which involved lying down “yay” but deep muscle relaxation which involved tensing and relaxing muscles, and though normally I wouldn’t really find this an issue, after a whole afternoon of having taxing physical exercises it suddenly became an overwhelming experience.  I found myself very teary, I was trying to hide it, a steady pathetic slow trickle of tears fell down my face in the semi-dark as I hoped the teacher would not notice.

I got up feeling crestfallen as how I would deal with this ‘thing’ that I would now make me dread going to the clinic instead of looking forward to it which I had been.  I know somehow I will get over it, but just typing as I feel right now.

In my perfect world, I think it would have been good to have been pre-warned as to what was going to happen exactly and also to have had the physical stuff spread out with the learning inbetween, for me it was too much.

TearsI then got ready to leave, my son had sent me text messages asking to have friends over.  I felt like a bad mum because I didn’t want to come home with a bunch of teenage boys in the house, I had told my son that during this period things were to be quiet and I was angry at him having asked, then felt guilty for being a bad mum.  I said no, but dad had already said yes.  I got picked up and within a short period of time the flood gates opened, all the stress I had been holding in from the afternoon gushed out, but it felt good to cry to say how ‘shit’ I felt.

When I got home I went to bed, feeling like I had emotionally been through two rounds with Mike Tyson.  My son realized that it might have been best for mummy to of arrived to an empty home except for him when he saw red rimmed eyes, I got a nice long cuddle and all is right with the world until tomorrow.

I think I need to talk to them, to say how I felt when I tried the exercise, how it is making me feel the prospect of doing this daily in this way and see if ‘they’ the experts can help with what I can only assume was the beginnings of a panic attack.

That is all for today, Justine xx

© Justine Nagaur


Pain Management Programme Day 1

Pain Management Programme Day 1

A quick post about my first day at the PMP as I will call it for now.

Pain Management Programme Clinic
Pain Management Programme Clinic

I had a lot of reservations about how I would be out of my comfort zone somewhere else, surrounded by strangers but most of all how much sitting was involved.

Early on in the day the Therapists there told us there would be a lot of sitting involved and I muffled an audible sigh of dread as usually I feel incredibly awkward being the only one getting my  mat out.

However I was not to fear.  Everyone there was extremely nice and down to earth and I was free to walk around, sit or lie.

Pain Management Programme
Pain Management Programme

There were six of us in total, one man included in that number. We did the usual introductions to each other of ourselves.

Then we went through the programme and expectations of it, both the course to us and between each other etc.

The day generally consists of one hour for lunch and two half hour breaks, I admit to doing a little bit of clock watching as it did definitely test my resolve standing for so long and the mat provided certainly wasn’t as comfortable as mine at home and I am used to moving around much more, but hard when you are in a one room environment to learn.

The other things we touched on was the fact that we would learn to have a different relationship with our pain, that in turn would enable us to have a different quality of life and reach goals and objectives perhaps otherwise deemed out of reach.  It was about the psychology of pain, how it works, the circle that seems to be involved from the onset of pain, to the effect it has then accumulating to end up causing more pain.

Pain Management Programme
Pain Management Programme

We also talked about goals and values.  Most of us felt that we had changed from who we were to who we are now.  Not in the essence of being totally different people but as if diluted if that makes sense.  Ie we might still be caring, but the pain detracts from it, interrupts the way that we would like to be more wholly.

We finished off with a relaxation technique which started with deep breathing.  When one is tense we tend to breathe from the chest only as if in a state of panic, whereas if relaxed we use the stomach and chest area.  I was only using the chest so we spent some time trying to rectify that.  Then we had a deep muscle relaxation session for 20 mins or so lying down on a mat, that was nice and I nearly dozed off lol.

That is all for now folks, I shall try to write about my journey each day but if not certainly regularly as it is quite exhausting being somewhere else all day but I am full of anticipation that I will learn lots of useful ways to help manage my days better and I am quite pleased that I did in fact one day, be it the first!!!!

My Personal Independence Payment Interview (PIP) – Update


My Personal Independence Payment Interview (PIP) – Update

As most of you will know I had my Personal Independence Payment interview two weeks ago.

If you want to find out more of what PIP stands for, here is the official link: Personal Independence Payment Gov UK

I wrote about my interview, the post you will find here:  My Personal Independence Payment Interview


I was pretty devastated to find out not long ago that my PIP application was rejected.  I had waited a year for the interview, yet in two weeks I received a letter with my rejection.

It does fill one with a sense of resentment, frustration and upset.

The letter was fairly straight forward, acknowledging that I have a long term health condition and or disability, yet I didn’t score enough points to warrant getting any help.

The next stage was to write back noting why I thought their decision was wrong.  I did this but only after going to Richmond Aid, who have people who specifically help out in what to write and how to write one’s response.  I sent various supporting papers and this has gone in the post.

It is like walking through treacle uphill.  The woman at the centre was lovely but the constant emotional upheaval of it all and the constant sense of trying to justify oneself unfortunately opened up the dam in front of her, though I am sure she is used to it, it took me by surprise, but having a good old cry was somewhat cathartic.

Seeing as she has lots of experience I was curious to know what the questions like cook a basic meal meant?  She answered it means putting a pre-made small dish in the microwave.  This doesn’t take in to account having a family, nor the desire to not want to fill oneself with ready made packet meals all the time.  I think one should have a right to decide on what level of healthy eating one should be allowed as a person and as a family.  For instance however, though I can do ‘other’ types of cooking, my kids have to mash, they have to grate.

Though I can walk around a shop, I can’t drive to it, nor carry the bags around, so I need someone to help me with this.  This isn’t taken in to account.

It seems if you have two arms that work, ie lift up and down, or two legs that can move 200 yards, you don’t need help.  It doesn’t seem to take in to account that one has middle bits, ie a back, a thorax, that when certain things are done with such limbs it can have a knock on effect afterwards.  It seems to be based very much on what you can do at the time.  Certain people have conditions where they pay with pain afterwards, not at the actual time, so therefore, I don’t count, or my pain doesn’t seem to count.

So that is the update, my letter is sent off and I shall wait now.

Today is my first day to go off to the Pain Management Clinic daily for three weeks.

I am excited yet nervous at the same time.

Thank you for reading, I will keep you updated on any responses re the PIP.

Justine xx

 © Justine Nagaur

To the Woman Who Tutted at Me Using the Disabled Toilets…- by Sam Cleasby

An incredible insight to how thoughtless some people can be to another’s plight x

Kindness Blog

To the woman who tutted at me using the disabled toilets…Dear lady who loudly tutted at me using the disabled loos,

I know you saw me running in, with my able bodied legs and all. You saw me opening the door with my two working arms. You saw me without a wheelchair. Without any visible sign of disability.

You tutted loudly as I rattled the handle with my hands that work perfectly and my able voice call to my kids that I’d be out in just a minute.

My lack of wheelchair may have suggested to you that I was some lazy cow who didn’t care. Some inconsiderate bitch who was using something I wasn’t entitled too. (I actually carry a card to explain that I’m entitled to and have a disability key if you’d have cared to ask). You may have seen my face blushing as I caught your eye and assumed I was showing guilt at blagging the…

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